What I’m about to share I wrote in a private email but I keep feeling like it could be helpful to a spouse struggling to honor their marriage as well as the betrayed spouse. After reading it again, it occurs to me that this can be applied to all sin. We have choices to make every hour of every day, who will we serve?
“…I just want you to know your value and how valuable you are to God, so valuable He wants to protect you as well as bring back His prodigal son. If the prodigal had brought his wild living back with him to go on at his fathers house the story would not have been the same and there lies the difference, I think. In Touch Ministries “Today on the Radio” contrasted King Saul and King David. It was so good and y’all should listen to it. Both men began as faithful servants of God, chosen by God, both men sinned greatly against God but Saul chose fear and jealousy and insecurity and did not repent but became even more disobedient. David, on the other hand, through Nathan, saw his sin and was heartbroken over it and he had genuine Godly sorrow that led him to a repentance and restoration to the Lord. King Saul killed himself after the death of his three sons in a battle where all was lost. Through King David came our Jesus the Christ.
We need our husbands to choose the way of King David, for us and our children and grandchildren yes but for our husbands as well. If I had had the courage and knowledge to throw down the appropriate boundaries years ago I wouldn’t be in the state I’m in. Our family wouldn’t be in the state it’s in. My son’s did not see their father honor their mother and they have wives and children of their own. We aren’t the only ones it hurt though. It hurt Tim. My passive anything goes I’ll love you forever, allegedly submissive, actually allowed him to continue in his sin. He sunk to new levels of depravity as I allowed him to continue to blame me and he went back to some form of adultery every single time. He’d repent and walk the walk of a man of God, leading and participating in all kinds of ministry and then out of left field I’d make a discovery and our whole world would implode again. That is the responsibility I bear, passively allowing sin to continue, thinking I was being Jesus to my husband. Jesus response to the moneychangers in the temple seems like a more appropriate response, huh? They were defiling the temple of God and Jesus was angry. Aren’t we the temple of God as the bible teaches? Are our husbands defiling their own temple and ours when they go outside of marriage? Do we stand by and allow it to continue? Jesus didn’t and He was the one to set the higher standard of not even to look at a woman lustfully. That is adultery and under the law, punishable by stoning, I believe, and in place at the time of His words. Disclaimer: I feel confident that the Lord does not want us to prepare whips to beat up our husbands. However, He does want us to work with Him to bring our husbands back to Him, set appropriate boundaries, do what will bring about the Godly sorrow that leads to genuine repentance.”
I’m hoping this is helpful…